Floodlighting: The Toxic Dating Trend of Oversharing Too Soon
A new dating trend known as “floodlighting” is gaining attention, particularly among Gen Z, for its potentially harmful effects on budding relationships. Coined by researcher Brené Brown, floodlighting refers to the act of sharing deeply personal or emotionally intense information very early in a relationship, often in an attempt to accelerate intimacy or test a partner’s reactions. While it may appear as genuine vulnerability, experts caution that this behavior can create a false sense of closeness and overwhelm the recipient.
Jessica Alderson, co-founder of the dating app So Synced, describes floodlighting as “using vulnerability as a high-intensity spotlight.” This involves disclosing a multitude of personal details all at once to gauge whether the other person can “handle” these aspects. Such premature vulnerability can lead to emotional imbalance, with one partner feeling pressured into the role of emotional caretaker.
Indicators of floodlighting include rapid and detailed confessions of intimate life events, disproportionately one-sided conversations centered on emotional trauma, and an intense, fast-forming emotional bond. Another potential red flag is the person’s analytical scrutiny of your reactions to their stories, often stemming from a deep-seated fear of rejection.
While sharing personal experiences is a vital part of building connections, experts advise pacing such disclosures to ensure both partners are comfortable and ready for deeper emotional engagement. Being mindful of the timing and context of vulnerability can help foster healthier, more balanced relationships.
